Angel Tommy's Story

March 15-Sept. 25, 1998

My grandson was born March 15, 1998 and passed away September 25, 1998. We were in the same spot you are all in. My daughter was fifteen and turned 16 the day before Tommy's birth. We did not know she was pregnant and it was really hard to believe that she kept it from us. She does live with us on a full time basis.  When Tommy was born they didn't know anything was wrong with him. Tommy's father was not going to be a good provider and we knew it was not going to last as far as the relationship goes. My daughter Onya decided along with my husband and I that it would be best for Tommy to go up for adoption.  Well the day he left to go to the foster home his temperature dropped and his heart rate went down. We then received that phone call that changed our lives. God wanted Tommy to be with his mommy. so we went to the hospital and they explained what his life was going to be like and what hydra was all about.  There was lots of tears and prayers from that day on. We loved Tommy so much and wanted him to live for ever and we did our best.  We did not want life support. Tommy came in natural and we wanted him to go out natural. They gave him 11 days.  As you can see Tommy lived 6 months. He went to the doctors regularly and ate very well. The one thing I can tell you that might help, is when Onya went to bed Tommy slept right next to her. Onya's arm was Tommy's pillow. He did not sleep in a crib. It was on a queen size chiropractic pillow or with mommy. Her arm had to be under his neck. We always made sure he burped real good. We were real lucky when it came to his meals. He only vomited twice and that's because he ate too much.  We started giving him baby fruit and cereal. That helped a lot. Tommy loved being held. At the end of July they decided it was time for a shunt. Till the end of August he did real good, but went down hill fast. He was on phenobarbital and morphine. We had hospice workers helping continuously. We new it was time for Tommy to leave and be with God, but it's hell to let go. For a week and a half we saw him not eating or drinking so it was close. The night he passed away we all held him and said goodbye.  He slept with mommy one last time. Onya woke up at 3am and he was looking straight in her face with his angelical look and she fell back to sleep. By 6am he was with God. We miss him dearly, but I would like to share everything I have learned in those 6 wonderful months. We still cry often and I have tons of pictures of Tommy around the house.