Angel Samuel's Story          

September 8-13, 1997

On September the eighth, nineteen ninety seven Bill and I had a baby boy. We named him Samuel Wesley Stanley. He was beautiful. His name came from Bill's grandpa Samuel and my grandpa Wesley.

On the evening of, our daughter, Dorothy's birthday, I started having contractions around 6:30 PM. Bill had already gone to work. When my mom and I had decided it was time we called Bill and he came back to be with me. After some time, discussions and phone calls we went to the hospital.

At the hospital I went through the usual procedures, filling out papers, weight and blood pressure. Finally I was taken up stairs and put on fetal monitors. They wanted me to walk. It did no good. So, they started pitocin. It made my contractions stronger and more regular, but still no Samuel. Monday, September the eighth, my midwife of the day ordered the ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed for me that Sam was a boy. We were overjoyed. No ultrasound had been done before that day. I was on Medicaid; at that time they needed a medical reason for one. There was no reason. All of my tests came back normal. Later we found out the Sam needed to be C sectioned. We were told that his head was to large for him to be born. I went into surgery. Sam was born and I went into ICU. When I awoke, I was able to see Samuel. He was so Beautiful! His head was as large as they said but he was still beautiful. Unfortunately there were other problems. Samuel and Bill were life flighted to Dallas Children's Hospital. Sam needed tests.

I recovered from surgery well and was able to go (against doctors recommendations) to Dallas, September tenth. Little did I know what awaited me. Many family members and my Pastor were there. Praise God! As soon as was possible Bill , me, and our mom's met with doctors. We were told that Samuel had a blockage in his spinal column that wouldn't let water drain off his brain. He had several holes in his heart and trouble with a kidney. They believed that the blockage was caused by a stroke. The other problems were as a result of the stroke, also. Oh, how I grieved.

When we went to the hotel that night, Bill just held me while I cried and moaned. I wanted my baby boy. I wanted to hold and love him. I wanted the beautiful baby boy I had dreamt about. I felt led to find a Bible. I had to go to my Grandma. There wasn't one in my room. I find such a parallel with Hannah. We had both prayed for children.

We both had to give them back to the Lord.

At the hospital, all my family got to hold him. He was given presents, a stuffed dog, an Eyore quilt, An Eyore stuffed animal and a teething ring. He also had a pacifier, he didn't use it too much but when he did he liked it. Samuel had two things with him always wear hats to keep his head warm, and a stuffed worm for neck support.

I don't remember much about talking to the doctors, but we did discuss it and weigh our options. We decided the best thing for Samuel was to take him off the respirator and let him go. We took Sam off the respirator at dawn on September the twelfth. We dedicated him to the Lord and waited. Waited for what would happen and for the sun to shine on him. A wonderful symbol of a new life dawning. What a gift, a joy.

For two days we got to hold him and play with him. He could show emotions. He smiled and crinkled his nose. One of the best picture there is of him is where he is laying on my lap smiling. What a ruckus we had everyone rushing to find the camera. I am glad we did, because he never did it the same way again.

September the thirteenth, Samuel died. I had been talked into going to the hotel for a shower and a break. As soon as I was done, my sister called from the hospital. His heart beat had dropped. We raced back to the hospital.. Well anyway, we made it. Grandmother, Mom, Bill and I stayed and held him till he was gone. When he was gone, I changed his diaper, got him dressed, and combed his hair. And waited for Dorothy. I had asked that my sister in law bring her. She got there ten minutes after Sam died. Perfect timing. I wasn't leaving the room without one of my babies.