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Angel Chris' StorySeptember 23rd, 1988 ~ February 1st, 2003
He
was born on September 23rd, 1988. He weighed in at 6 pounds 4 ounces. At
8:04 am, I saw him for the first time. I didn't know it then, but I had
just given birth to an earth Angel. With blonde hair and blue eys, 10
fingers and 10 toes. He was perfect. Chris looked and acted normal
at birth. Although, looking back, there were signs something was not
right. Over
the next couple months, I noticed Chris was not tracking objects. He
eventually became very irritable. An eye examine was normal. But, we
were referred to the local Children's hospital for further testing. On
January 31st, 1989, Chris was diagnosed with Hydranencephaly. I was told
to bring him home and love him. There wasn't anything they could do. His
head was growing rapidly and a VP shunt was placed in February. Chris
started having seizures and finding the right med regime was a
challenge. The first year was difficult. But, he made it. Over
the next several years, Chris blossomed. He started school at the age of
5 and he LOVED it. Chris and I took yearly vacations to Florida and New
Hampshire to visit family. We went every where together. He was the
center of attention and the highlight of my life. At
the age of 8, feeding became too difficult. He had a J-G tube placed. 9
months later a fundo with g-tube was a better option. When
Chris was 11, his breathing became difficult. He had his tonsils and
adenoids removed and a fundo revision. He did wonderful over the next
three years.
It was his 14th Birthday when I saw Chris changing. He started
sleeping more and tolerating feeds less. The bad days were more frequent
and good days few and far between. By Christmas time, his breathing
again became a problem. I knew Chris was losing his battle with life. He
no longer attended school. I knew how much he loved school and it broke
my heart he was too weak to attend. Many doctor appointsments during
this time. Chest x-rays, antibiotics, pulmo specialists. During these
final months, I knew there would be no quick fixes. We were to have a
trial bpap to ease his apnea. An appointment that was changed due to an
emergency. His pulmo and I talked for a while that night as we watched
Chris. They needed the picu bed so we were moved to the peds unit for
the night. Hoping a picu bed would open the next day and possibly talk
about Hospice. I kissed my boyfriend and Chris goodnight. Told them both
to behave and no partying. Chris just laughed at me. The call came the
next morning at 6am. Chris was not good. I got ready, bought some
hospital breakfast and headed up to the room. When I got there, I almost
dropped everything I was holding. I knew it then. Chris was not going to
make it. The doctors were new to Chris. He hadn't been in the hospital
for 3 years. They did an
array of tests. All normal except his dilantin level. Confirming my
suspicions of his GI system slowing. Never did he have a high dilantin
level of 31. The last test to come back was his chest x-ray. The doctor
caught me in the hall. He told me the test was normal and he didn't know
what to tell me. I told him," Chris is dying, and I want to bring
him home." He was home with in two hours on Hospice. It took me
over 12 hours to settle his Cheynne stokes. He was getting morphine and
aitvan Q2 hours. His digestive system was slow to process it. I
held him until he passed away on February 1st, 2003. The hardest thing I
ever told him was "It was Ok to go Chris."
I miss Chris more and more everyday. His smile and laugh that
followed will forever be missed. He spoke no words, but taught all who
knew him what love and life was all about. He is the Wind Beneath My
Wings. My Angel Ray of Sunshine.
I LOVE YOU CHRIS!!
CHRISTOPHER W. FOX A smile that
healed many hearts.
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